the facts of life

THE FACTS OF LIFE as i sit not able to sleep becuase i need to get this off my mind but i want to make this as clear as possible im NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPOTHY OR COMMETS OF YOUR SILLY OR THATS NOT TRUE there some facts about my life i have come accept and i dont understand or see why others cant or resfuse to understand what im saying i have never been the tipical girl the way most girls see is ohh she is sweet but ugly or yeah she is nice but i really dont wanna admit im her friend even now in college that has always been the case now with the guys even now guys have always seen me in one of the fallowing ways 1. " fat ugly stupid bitch' 2. as a someone they want to do just because she has big boobs but dont really want to because shes too fat for fucking words and thats all she be good for 3. ehh she okay shes just one the guys 4. shes a friend/little sister no guy in his right mind would ever see me as anything more and i have always been okay with it even when i had bf thats how i was treated i have never been a "princess" or anything speical and i came to college and for the most part it has been the same but more recently i have had some friends who have trying very hard to convicnce me otherwise and as much as i love them its just not the case i know better and i say this and i wish they would get off my back about it and i wish they would stop saying stuff that will never ever happen granted deep down i would love to be married but i also know in my heart i never will be becuase things that go for most people dont work for me and its something im more than okay with and i promise you there is no guy who would want a girl like me with my past and deal with a girl who ld and other problems so for the sake of being healthy lets get off the this idea and let life go on i have known this truth as far as i can remeber so what would be different from the truth i knew growing up to now nada all i know is im the same girl with the same dreams of graduating college and seeing what God has instore for her