Not A Daddys girl but thats a good thing in a way

Many of you know that my entire 25 yrs on this planet me and father never have gotten along and honestly I wish I could explain why but there elements to it I dont understand why and for years this tugged at my heart and killed me and there alot of things that made me cry about it but through time and being mad at God, myslef and of course the "father" well one of the biggest things that always made me cry were certain songs such as love without an End,Amen, by George Strait, Butterfly Kisses ( not sure on the artist) and Stealing Cinderella by Chuck not sure on last name and some others, well this week they all came on the air on CMT and for the FIRST TIME ever in my LIFE I NEVER CRIED OR GOT TEARY EYED this is huge for me because this means im FINALLY at peace with it and although I still have a long way to go and im really excited about this and I was telling my mom I have to know in my heart I dont need him or want him in my life and many I know have great relationships with your dads and im so happy for you but for me to be at peace with me and the situation with my Father is a huge burnden off my shoulders yay for me I know I will always have part of my heart broken because of it but know that having just the peace is so nice because for me this means im getting stronger this have been a battle i have been fighting since i came home from the hospital and now I dont have to fight and in way im the winner because im not worried about him or any thing and I wish all the best to him and his wife, I have many friends who have and who will stand beside me and are there for me and if I had to choose between them and him i choose them and another thing that I have peace about I no longer will feel bad about living up to his standards or being good enough for him these are very big steps for me and if he were to contact im not sure I would take his call honestly I probably wouldnt cause now im working on forgiving for present crap and I thank my friends for helping me with this struggle it has been a long fought battle but in my heart and soul its done with and thats such a blessing.