what ive been dreaming of...............

Im so full of emontion right now happy,sad,scared, excited, worried, nervous all at once and for those who know me im not used to being an emontional girl at all this something i dont handle well at all  the reason im so emontional is I GOT A JOB AS SPECIAL ED TA IN MCKINNEY TX which north of dallas and so im having to move which fine but its hard im excited but not and im scared to death i will fail at my dream which for those who dont know is to be an advocate for people with disabilites and help these kids live the best life possible and achive  the most potantel for them and help parents understand what their rights are under ADA and each state law and work through the paper  work and so id been thinking the best way is to start as an aide and move to being a teacher and so on i cant believe im on track to do this....... but i also am scared to death i will fail my friends and family the school, the districit and the kids but more imporantaly God which I hope  I dont i mean i know im not perfect but still its scarry the way im looking at this is as yet another new beiging and another chance  at life and but i need to thank all of friends and family who have helped me become  and made me who i am 

the thing that scares me the most is that in all the excitment i will lose who i am  im hoping not meanining i will lose sight of why im doing this and lose my heart for it. Im having to come out of my comfort zone actually be girly ( very scarry i know) but hopefully this a change for the best