home but not

well im finally in my apt in mckinney texas furnture and all and im trying to adjust to life here 

and it ways im so excited and in ways im hating it  all in one 

and since getting the job a lot has happend  and i have had a furry of emontions and this weekend is first time more like sat and today have been the only time i have had to adjust to everything 

and deal with my emontions and  i moved down on whim and lived with my bro and sister in law for a  few days in that my aunt passed away and my car got broken into and all my clothes stolen so in addition moving and getting adjusted to a new town, new school and new co workers and students and i aboustly love my job love it and than  in my apt in ways its mine in ways i dont feel like it is but thats me  my sister in law and her sister and my brother are trying to get me to be more of the "dallas seene" and its just not who i am  its not who my teachers are but i like some of the clothes some i dont plus theyre forcing change on me way too fast and im one i like change and love trying new things but at my pace not theirs  and they dont like that i dont have their taste in stuff  but hopefully i can get back to being me  

the more i grow up and more i live in this world the more i feel  like i dont belong here  in it 

im hoping things will get better