peace through pain

on May 13,2005  I made one of the hardest decisions of my life  which was to stop seeing my father this was in no way an easy one i remeber crying over it  and praying about it and relizing it was for the best even though it didnt feel like it, i felt like a failure to my father because i could not meet his standards, to my family, to my friends but i also knew in my heart my grandparents were crying in seeing how i was treated and  not happy so i decided to to stop seeing him and see what happens   fast forward 3 years later and  i have done alot of growing since than  i have relized im a lot happier now than ever and im stronger and  honestly my relationships with my mom, brother, sister in law ( which was never really bad in the first place with her) and my mom finace and my friends espeally the guys  on my part. not only am i stronger and happier and relationships for the most part better im for the first time at peace with him and have hope of having a better life than i ever have in my life and with my Father in my life i would not be in this place of peace which is so nice and even though my feeling about God and church are effy at times  i now can grasp some concepts i never could before although i struggle to death with them 

its amazing what can happen in 3 years time :) 

now with my father am i saying ill never talk to him again probably 

does this mean i want bad things to happen to him no 

but i also know i can never trust him again and 

im perfectly happy and i know he is too 

yay for peace through pain