7 years

7 years ago i wrote you begging to know you cared even just a little bit that ll i had ever wanted was knowing some where behind your cural words, hateful actions and just plan meaness i meant soemthing to you but a month after i wrote you, you gave me my answer in the most painful hurtful harmful ways a person can be hurt with out physical abuse and what hurt more is that you did it infront of my dear friends, and fam at time that was supposed to be a happy time and i played like you didnt rip my heart and soul apart and that you didnt kill me and killed my child hood dream of being  your child that you would be proud of and claim as yours nooo insted you used your cural words calling me a thing and waste of time and space and how ugly i was and calling me a lair by saying i didnt look sick and that because you couldnt see it you didnt believe just like with my disabilitly because you couldnt see it you didnt believe its not there, thats this was all an act and  that weekend when we last saw eachother when i talk about it, it still hurts and the pain is just as real as the weekend everything went down and i choose to walk away not because i didnt/dont love you because i couldnt and still cant handle anymore of the pain and hurt you caused and still do and i always wounder what on earth i ever did to you and the more i realize in 7 years im not something you would be proud of never have been never will be  but what hurts most of all is i have left this door open for 7 years and line commucation for you to just try one time thats all i ever asked and in 7 years you could never do this not once could you make the affect so my biggest fear and my saddest realization is the fact i never have and never will mean anything to you at all and your supposed to be the one person i could always count on but i never have  and never will
you never knew me never tried to know me
i guess to you all i ever was and ever will be is a waste of time
and im one who left to hurt and suffer but whats sad for you that you choose to miss out and you choose not to love or care and that is saddest thing of all