well its finals week and my finals today almost killed me but i have to say that this have byfare been the best semster of my life at oc minus my girls (addi, jala, caroline, kristien, nola,emily,lauren) being gone it has been awsome my big bro and i have gotten closer which has been a huge blessing for me i have gone though so much and he amazingly has stood by me and with me though it all i never thought i would see that i have grown soo much but i relize i have so much more growing to do and im not gonna lie knowing my bro will be in scottland for two yes two whole years has given mixed emtions and well i mean i know hes doing god's will and what he needs to do and im really happy for him but it scares because he is the only guy i trust i know i have issues with that im working on it but also he is the only person besides my grandmother to stand by me and bethere for me and believe in me and so this makes it really hard for me but im so thankful for the lessons he has tought me and for him being there he is my best frend and he is amazing and i can honestly sya i wouldnt be where i am if handnt been for him so thank you bro your amazing i love you soo much more than youlll ever know...

big lesson

i learned a big lesson this week and i can thank a cuple of my friends for it this one that maybe god decided i needed but dont quite still understand and maybe im not supose to eaither but here it goes one day on AIM i was talking to my big bro ( you know who it is) and i asked hows my amzing bro doing he said good hows my amazing sister i went what me amazing are you kiddding me he said nope you are and i never have thought about it me amazing simple everyday nothing sapectacular about me and then i went to one of my fav gamma girls to figure this out and couldnt then i went to my lambda sis to try to figure this amazing thing out and still couldnt then i went to my another awsome gamma girl and still didnt get it well i tried going to my bro again to figure it out he said your amazing thats it just take it and go well it was still bothering me that im amazing i honestly couldnt but 2 and 2 togather so today i go to lunch with my old roomie and she would sorta help me see the light she poointed out to me its the fact that i always put others first and help them out or do things for others and not do things for myself and she said thats just a part of how your amazing im honored by the comment and thought that i am but honestly im really not putting others first and doing stuff for others is how i have always been and hooefully always will be but it has never crossed my mind for a second that would be consdered something amazing and the fact that my bigbro the one i look up to soo much and love to death my best friend would think his lil sis amazing im still shocked by it but its honor i dont know the lesson god wants me to learn from this or what he wants me to do with it. but its lesson and surpise ill never forget thank you to my big bro for thinking im amaizing thats just crazy

my thougts

today i was having a really bad day i know i have had a few of them these last few weeks but i have good reason for it there is just too much to tell and i dont want to go into it but any way i have to say that i relized manya things going though all i have 1. my big bro is amazing and i would never surrived all of this with out him he has helped me soo much and he is amazing i love him so much and i cant thank him enough for what he has done 2. im wayy too depandent on him granted i have gone though a lot but still i am its not fair to him or to his other friends and im taking away his time from his work which isnt fair eaither the most imporant thing i have learned is that its the little things in life that mean the most to people he has stood by me every step of the way and that its the little things he does for me make my day im soo greatful for him i highly recomed thinking of the little things cause thats whats hurts the most and means the most think about it to my bro thank you for everything you truly are a lifesavior and my hero i look up to you more than you'll ever know i love you

amazing

i just have to say Liz you were right kevin your amazing i love you both