wow its been an insane  tense   week at work and outside of it as well 

I wish my parents would own up to when their kids miss behave and not make excuses for it cause we will not put up with nor should we have to  i can officially say i have herd every single excuse in the book and it will not fly with us than i have had a lot of drama outside work and its weird how much i have had i feel like i haven't had a chance to breath and than one best friends also had a bad week so we were a force to be dealt with  but today has actually been fairly claim surprisingly and lately i have been doubted God  I know im heathen for it but i guess its in my nature right now i have always just known what the next step would be i may not have known how i was going to get there or when  but i just knew for example when i was little kid i always knew i didn't read or see words and letters and numbers the same as my classmates when i was in 2nd grade we found out i was dyslexic but i also knew there was something else and wasn't till i was a junior in high school  that we found out i was dysgraphic and i always knew i would go to college i didn't know when or where  and i applied to 9 colleges and got into 3 not bad and came and graduated form oc  but now for the first time in my life i dont know what comes next i know what i want to do and have a heart for but i dont know if its what God wants me to do and I have been feeling like may be he's not in control or doesnt have a plain I know this sounds stupid and  I know he does I just dont feel like he does cause I dont know what the next step and this a rather scary feeling for me  

and I dont know how to feel and or do its just weird to me 

but  I know im not the only one who feels like it 

food for thought

Okay so its been awhile since my last post ( not like too many people actually read this or care) but any way 

so recently a lot of people have been asking how is it that im not judgemental of people until i get to know them and see their true colors  or ask me why i dont put people down for the things they have done  and since this seems to be a reoccuring thing i figure i should blog on it ehh pluse its not like i have much else to blog about so here it goes 

there is an old saying  dont judge a book by its cover well thats how i view people because what we see on the outside useually isnt who they are and if it sometimes i like to get to know people because it opens my eyes to another point of view on life and in the real world and i love it 

and i also dont judge because im called not to  God is the only one allowed place judgement on humans  and ive always herd actions speak louder than words and yes to a degree i agree with but the heart and soul of a person are the loudest speakers of all and  when we choose to icnore that by judging others than we refusing to liston to our brothers an sisters and help them to see the world a different presptive  and  i also choose not judge becuase  people until i get to know them because im a firm believer thats a reason for everyone to be in ourlives be it a min or until we die and i love that my different friends and people i know bring a different prespative and challange me with what i know what i need to learn and how to grow stronger as person in this world  and as a christian 

as christians we should never be comfortabe in our faith so by having so many different people i get see God in so many different ways as well  

and so i can never be comfortable in my faith which is good 

now does this mean i agree with everything all the people i know and all the friends i have do 

no of course not! that be dumb 

but whats great is i can learn from them see things in a different way and try to look at things their way which is awsome 

so my challange to those of you who read  to not judge a person until you get to know them and i mean more than a passive of hi how are you 

i mean really know them 

fathers day............. a mildstone...............

I hope everyone had a good fathersday even for those of you where its a hard day like it is for me i hope something made you smile most of you know me and father never have gotten along and about 3 yrs ago i deicded to stop seeing him and or talking to him which was one that had always killed me and made me cry and i could never sit through church service for any length with out leaving early going back to my room and just breaking down and crying like a baby well yesterday was a huge mildstone for me in my 25 1/2 years on this earth as i set in the church in a small town i saw dads playing with their kids and them talking about their child was eaither daddys boys or girl and my heart melted with a joy of what i hope to have someday when i get married well i told the preacher please dont get offended if i leave early he knew why i would if i do and so i knew it would be okay if i did and well to my surpise i was able to surrive the serman with out one tear shed or even leaving this huge step for me because it means im getting stronger everyday and that couldnt happen with out the support of my friends and this preacher and God he is the main reason why im so strong and it felt good to know i can handle this in small doses i choose to spend the rest of the day in the apt because i really jsut couldnt handle being out in big crowds and although i never did cry another mildstone its still a hard day but it never came more clearer than when no matter what tv station or radio station i listend to or watched they were talking about how great fathers are and i can truthful say i dont know personally i see what others have i think that will always make me a little jelous and my heart will always have a hole in it since my birth father abbanded me in a since and my adotive father didnt want me from the start but yet i can see the joy in my friends and the men i see who truly love their kids and in another mildstone i have gone to church, the same church might i add 3 weeks in row but still so much weights on my mind right now but thats for another day

what are you living for

The title of this post comes from a question my friend  Robert asked me and my other friend jennifer yesterday as we were driving around town from dinner to a movie and other stuff 

and it got me thinking really what do i live for? well i listened to jenn's answer being a promise to her best friends and saying there is a reason why God hasn't taken her yet  and so than its my turn and i sated that i have crazy notation that i want and am making a difference in this world but yet i dont want to know because i never want to feel as though my job is done on making a difference and also i said because i promised my kiki i would go to college  and graduate and so i and i want to see what else God has in-store for me  and i want to  prove people wrong  yes i live for that i mean i know this sounds petty honestly thats what i live for and in talking we asked robert and he like me wants to prove people wrong and its refreshing to know that your not the only one who wants prove people wrong for difference reasons but we also want to make people look at things differently and or in a new way and make them question their judgements. the reason that i do it cause its a passion and being one who has been judge wrongly many times and told i would never amount to anything  it means more to me for me to get people to never doubt  why a person is here on earth cause i truly believe everyone even convicts  are here for a reason  now i will never know why every person is here but i hope you start see all people this way 

i even believe there is a reason why my father is my father even though we dont talk but i still believe he has a purpose here on earth 

i hope i never stop proving people wrong and that i always make people question their judgements about others and  i hope i always strive  to make a difference 

and in the end 

i want to know 

what do you live for? 

peace through pain

on May 13,2005  I made one of the hardest decisions of my life  which was to stop seeing my father this was in no way an easy one i remeber crying over it  and praying about it and relizing it was for the best even though it didnt feel like it, i felt like a failure to my father because i could not meet his standards, to my family, to my friends but i also knew in my heart my grandparents were crying in seeing how i was treated and  not happy so i decided to to stop seeing him and see what happens   fast forward 3 years later and  i have done alot of growing since than  i have relized im a lot happier now than ever and im stronger and  honestly my relationships with my mom, brother, sister in law ( which was never really bad in the first place with her) and my mom finace and my friends espeally the guys  on my part. not only am i stronger and happier and relationships for the most part better im for the first time at peace with him and have hope of having a better life than i ever have in my life and with my Father in my life i would not be in this place of peace which is so nice and even though my feeling about God and church are effy at times  i now can grasp some concepts i never could before although i struggle to death with them 

its amazing what can happen in 3 years time :) 

now with my father am i saying ill never talk to him again probably 

does this mean i want bad things to happen to him no 

but i also know i can never trust him again and 

im perfectly happy and i know he is too 

yay for peace through pain 

7 things not known about margey

1. Im horrified and deathly scared of wasps  and bees 2. I never had cereal for breakfast in 25 years on this earth 3. I was never allowed to mow the yard going up but i always wanted to try it  4. I never read a gossip magaize such as people, or any others the only one i have had read womans world 5. I hate shopping for my self cause i know i should be spending the money on others  6. I have never in my life been called prett, beautiful, or any thing else by guy usueally im the person people make fun of insted  7. actually hate being around other people  i useually rather be alone or in small group of people who actually for whatever reason like for me  ( im useually not the popular person) or i am and but nobody really likes to be around me 

ARE YOU BEING JESUS AND HAVE YOU SEEN GOD

I want you to take a few mins and read the lyrics to a song below and i dont want you to just read them but think about the lyrics and what they are saying 

I just walked down the street to the coffee shop had to take a break  I'd been by her side for eighteen hours straight I saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk pushing up through the concrete like it was planted right there for me to see the flashin' lights, the honkin' horns all seemed to fade away in the shadow of that hospital at 5:08 I saw God today Chorus: I've been to church I've read the book I know He's here, but I don't look near as often as I should Yeah, I know I should His fingerprints are everywhere I'd just slow down to stop and stare opened my eyes and man I swear I saw God today I saw a couple walking by they were holding hands Man, she had that glow yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show it stood there for a minute takin' the sky lost in that sunset a splash of amber melted in the shades of red Chorus I got my face pressed up against the nursery glass She's sleeping like a rock My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes My brand new baby girl She's a miracle  I saw God today

This song talks about seeing God today and seeing him in not untypical  places 

such as a cuple walking down the street or  flowers going through concreate  

i mean we as christians go to church every week or so and  we talk to our friends but do we ever really see God i mean in the little things such as flowers or cuple smiling cause their pegant or  in birds flying. I mean we talk about reading the bible and reaching out to those who dont know Christ, however i have found that  children and alot of none christians and even animals and pets know God better than we do and see him more than we do  and I truly believe we dont look as much as we should and really dont have to look that hard I mean God plays a role in everything we do  but as Christians we have more to do than just look for God  which leads to my next point  once again read the lyrics to this song and think about what the lyrics are saying 

I want you to take a few mins and read the lyrics to a song below and i dont want you to just read them but think about the lyrics and what they are saying    I just walked down the street to the coffee shop had to take a break  I'd been by her side for eighteen hours straight I saw a flower growing in the middle of the sidewalk pushing up through the concrete like it was planted right there for me to see the flashin' lights, the honkin' horns all seemed to fade away in the shadow of that hospital at 5:08 I saw God today  Chorus: I've been to church I've read the book I know He's here, but I don't look near as often as I should Yeah, I know I should His fingerprints are everywhere I'd just slow down to stop and stare opened my eyes and man I swear I saw God today  I saw a couple walking by they were holding hands Man, she had that glow yeah I couldn't help but notice she was starting to show it stood there for a minute takin' the sky lost in that sunset a splash of amber melted in the shades of red  Chorus  I got my face pressed up against the nursery glass She's sleeping like a rock My name on her wrist wearing tiny pink socks She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes My brand new baby girl She's a miracle  I saw God today   This song talks about seeing God today and seeing him in not untypical  places  such as a cuple walking down the street or  flowers going through concreate   i mean we as christians go to church every week or so and  we talk to our friends but do we ever really see God i mean in the little things such as flowers or cuple smiling cause their pegant or  in birds flying. I mean we talk about reading the bible and reaching out to those who dont know Christ, however i have found that  children and alot of none christians and even animals and pets know God better than we do and see him more than we do  and I truly believe we dont look as much as we should and really dont have to look that hard I mean God plays a role in everything we do  but as Christians we have more to do than just look for God  which leads to my next point   this song is called who will be Jesus  and this song 

talks about how insted of talking badly about people and or going by rumors 

we need to be Jesus to these people and some of them dont know Jesus and others

do but and their in the church 

and what i find interesting as christians were called to love one another and be there for others 

be it our best friends our worst enemies or people we dont even know however 

we treat some of our own worse than those we dont but we all have this sin of 

trying to pretend were better than others and thats in no way of being a Christian and or being a family 

and im going to be blunt  there will always be people who do what you dont think 

is right or even agree but if really want to impact this world of ours maybe 

we should start walking the walk  by saying as we do for instance 

when  we know someone is getting a divorce insted of shunning them and treating them 

like the worlds worst people lets say hey how can help you 

or im praying for you 

is there anything you need 

i know shocking ideas and thoughts 

but  bring this all back into thought 

i have started looking for God on daily base and  trying to be Jesus  to everyone 

around me simply by saying hi or talking to people 

and yet  praying to God 

imagine what could happen if we all did this  

imagine how amazing it would be For God 

and it all you have to do is be your self 

and relize your no better than the next person espolly to God 

cause in the end 

when you die 

God wont ask how many  millions you made 

he will ask you 

how many people to impact and glorify for me 

church really whats point part 2

i leave these thoughts out to my friends and bible/ym major friends for their insight or even bible professors Yesterday I went to church with some of my friends and i found some very interesting feelings and views on christianity for myself we as christians are suppose to be the church, and were called to love and encourage each other whether we are friends or not were all brothers and sisters in Christ but what i find interesting as christians we have decided to tear our selves part and the devil is having a blast while we knock our selves by this i mean if your ( these are typical stereotypes of different groups not specific to any one person i have all of these in my fam and im going off them) Baptist many of them feel like they have the right form of christianity and if your presbyterian you feel as though you usually dont take stand on tough issues your right with God better than others those who are Catholic feel that you need to go though x many amount of saints to get to heaven and talk to God, and if your church of christ your the only right faith and Episcopalian your baptized as a baby and forever saved from all sin however the thing i find interesting is that no one form of christianity has it right because first were never to divided in the first place were supoose to be the church and not 50 forms of it and even though are difference in the end and in the skim of it are very small, our similarites should be what we focus on but we dont and we dicied to focus on our differences and judge other forms of christianity and try be explain why which ever form of christianity you choose is better than all the others and people want to know why were not saving souls and why we lose people its simply becuase we judge people on the stupidest things and reasons and on top of that were trying to one up eachother insted trying to help eachother out and say im of coc but hey if cathlic is more for you ill go with you or ill help find a church or hey i want to be a christian and im here for you every step of the way see where as in so many others forms of reglion they dont fight each other some do yes but us as christians should be working with our brothers and sisters no matter what form of christianity they are cause in the end God could careless what form of christainty you were apart of he going to look at your heart and judge you off that and i believe he would rather have a person who is a christian fighting to save souls of people than us worrying about why our form christainity is better than another and were suposed to be united how can we say were united when were fighting eachother so for these reasons im still struggling to find the purpose in "church"

church really whats the point

a few of you know i have been stuggling trying to figure out what the point of "church" is im putting the word church in quotes cause its really serivce in my oppion cause we are the church or were suppose to be any way i have been struggling with why i should go to it because to me in my oppion and with my understanding its not what it should be and we as christians for the most part dont even do what were called to do in reading my bible i have read and understood that service also known as "church" is suppose to be a time of encourgement, worshiping God, learning about him, and fellowshipping with our brother and sisters in christ and encurage those who are not christians and or those are hurting be it a christian or not and were called not to judge others and or try to help a person meet their needs here is where my problem lies i understand that the people in the church are not perfect nor am i, im the furthest thing from it but in every church i have been in latley eaither coc or pres or other is were suposed to be unified and were letting the stupidist little differe from our other brothers and sisters in christ we werent suppose to be different forms of christianity and than i have found out some in the coc refuse to accept catholics as christians why is this i dont get it cathloics are just as good if not better christians than those in the coc or presbytrain church and in the pres church we decided that if you leave it for another apprantly you can condim everyone to hell and or be a heathen and in coc not only do we not conisder catholics christian but we also feel as though if you werent raised coc your heathen and not going to hell, my responce is where in the bible does it say that have to be of a form coc or any other form of christianity to get into heaven NO WHERE and i have visted churches a lot places my byasis, my dislike of it and my utter dislike of the poltics of any church to try to find one but i keep comming a cross the reasons why i left going to church in the first place every where i go people mad i left, insted asking why or even wanting to know people upset im visting their church and or icnoring the fact im there and on the rare occason people ask me about my faith get upset when i explaine i was raised presbytrain which im very proud about they get upset i wasnt raised in the "church" well i was and i dont get encourgement from the church and i know its not about me im trying to find a place where i can help them but i find more and more the things im best at i do better when im not in the church but when im with my friends i learn more about God and i get encoarugement and give it and help others and see Jesus more outside and the one thing that hruts most is we as christians are the MOST JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE EVER its aboustly STUPID i do not understand this and what gives us the right to judge others i know i have had a lot different experences than most and if you want to know more of those ask me in person im still looking for a church im scared im doing it for the wrong reasons which would be " because im supose to because im a christian" i dont want that to be my reason i want it to be because i want to be there so my question to you my friends and those who a lot more biblical knowlegeable than my self is WHY DO YOU GO TO "CHURCH"/ SERVICE AND PLEASE DONT GIVE ME THE "CHURCH ANSWER" OF BECAUSE ITS SUNDAY AND IM CHRISTIAN IM SUPOSE TO but in the end i really dont understand this and yes angie im including our talk from last night

an unsung hero has died...............

a friend of mine posted this and when i read it i cried i never knew david personally but i had seen him play in many games and i saw what he did for others off the field and when i got this i cried cause david had to be the most upbeat postive person about his situation ever..... he was well respected by college football coaches wanting him by his teams opponites, by his coaches and team, by his family and those who he inspired after their loss at the game the opposing team swed on his jersey number on to their uniforms and they along with his fam friends teammates and both schools baseball teams helped make his house situable for him he was an unsung hero in the greater san antonio area David Edwards, a former Madison High School football player who suffered a paralyzing injury in a 2003 playoff game, died early Wednesday afternoon at Northeast Methodist Hospital, Edwards' grandfather Lorenzo Kelly said. He was 20. Edwards had stopped breathing Monday night. Faye Stanton, Edwards' mother, and a neighbor performed CPR on Edwards before paramedics arrived at their Northeast Side home that night. He slipped into a coma and was listed in critical condition at the hospital Tuesday. Stanton said Edwards had been battling pneumonia since last fall. Edwards was a junior defensive back at James Madison High School when he snapped the fourth vertebra in his neck while making a tackle in a game against Austin Westlake on Nov. 15, 2003. He would have turned 21 Saturday!! -metro newspape

Not A Daddys girl but thats a good thing in a way

Many of you know that my entire 25 yrs on this planet me and father never have gotten along and honestly I wish I could explain why but there elements to it I dont understand why and for years this tugged at my heart and killed me and there alot of things that made me cry about it but through time and being mad at God, myslef and of course the "father" well one of the biggest things that always made me cry were certain songs such as love without an End,Amen, by George Strait, Butterfly Kisses ( not sure on the artist) and Stealing Cinderella by Chuck not sure on last name and some others, well this week they all came on the air on CMT and for the FIRST TIME ever in my LIFE I NEVER CRIED OR GOT TEARY EYED this is huge for me because this means im FINALLY at peace with it and although I still have a long way to go and im really excited about this and I was telling my mom I have to know in my heart I dont need him or want him in my life and many I know have great relationships with your dads and im so happy for you but for me to be at peace with me and the situation with my Father is a huge burnden off my shoulders yay for me I know I will always have part of my heart broken because of it but know that having just the peace is so nice because for me this means im getting stronger this have been a battle i have been fighting since i came home from the hospital and now I dont have to fight and in way im the winner because im not worried about him or any thing and I wish all the best to him and his wife, I have many friends who have and who will stand beside me and are there for me and if I had to choose between them and him i choose them and another thing that I have peace about I no longer will feel bad about living up to his standards or being good enough for him these are very big steps for me and if he were to contact im not sure I would take his call honestly I probably wouldnt cause now im working on forgiving for present crap and I thank my friends for helping me with this struggle it has been a long fought battle but in my heart and soul its done with and thats such a blessing.

friends

When you catch a girl glancing at you, she wants you to look back and smile When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand When she wants a hug she will just stand there When u break a girls heart she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games!!!!!!!!!!! When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back, but shes scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever Guy Facts: When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you... When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes he means it When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday, he is in love When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you til your done When a guy says, "I miss you,". he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else in reading this when a girl/guy misses you i found it rather interesting at least on the girls part for me how true it is accept mine has a twist or two when i tell a friend guy or girl i miss i really do miss especally if i havent seen them in a really long time or i tell them i love them ( as a friend) i mean it but i have also looked in my friends eyes and woundernd how long they were going to remain my friend mainly because in past any time people have found out that Dyslexic or Disgraphic they tend to stop being my friend or they find out my dad and i dont get a long i lose friends i have lost friends over very stupid stuff ill admit first hand and so my very close friends who i have over a mere matter of time seem to think im "nice" or "amazing" their words not mine now honestly i dont know if i am and i dont really care if i am or not im just very greatful for my best friends for what ever reasons i cant figure and have given up on trying to figure out and im trying to just accept which is very hard for me because in past most friends have had some kind of attachemnt on it but for the first time in life im learning that people might like me for me which i know sounds stupid but when people will stop being your friend because you have a disability or because you speak your mind or because of something in your past than im not sure they are real friends and I am just greatful that i have some amazing friends and you know who you are :) and I thank you for that

beauty what is it really

So im rather annoyed, confused and frustrated with America in gernal  but the thing that bothers me the most  is we are constley telling others that  "outter beauty" really dosent matter its whats inside that counts  however,  i have yet to see a story in a movie, on tv, in real life or even amung my girl friends  we all say this however  it never until someone is in make up or dressed up do we call them "pretty" or "beuatiful"  and i have always been to really look at the heart of person as Jesus did and im guilty of compltemting people when there dressed up and even when there not  but if its really on the inside that counts  than why do only complment each other when were wearing make and guys your just as guilty as the girls  so my question is do really care about the inner beauty or do we just say that  to make others feel better about themsleves  for me its about the inner beauty  thats why im not a fan of make up but when i have too  cause the most beautiful thing is a person's heart  so the next time you go to give someone a complament  think if you really mean it  and  what end of beauty really matters to you

things i wish i could say to the person(s) involved

TEN things you wish you could say to TEN different people right now, don't name the person: 1. I MISS YOU MORE THAN YOULL EVER KNOW  2. YOU CAUSED ME MORE PAIN THAN ONE SHOULD KNOW MAY BE WE CAN TALK BUT YOULL NEVER BE THE PERSON YOUR SUPOSED TO BE IN MY LIFE  3.I WANNA PLAY WITH YOU AT YOUR HOME OR IN NYC WHEN IS GOOD FOR YOU  4. YOUR SOO AMAZING I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT  4. SHE WILL BE OKAY SHES COME SOO FAR  5. YOU BETRAYED ME AND MY TRUST I WILL NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN AND YOU HAVE HURT HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOUR GENDER YOUR AN F****** A****** 6. YOUR MY BEST FRIEND THANKS FOR PUTTING UP WITH ME, BUT IM SCARED I HAVE LET YOU DOWN  7. WE NEED TO CAUSE MORE TRUBLE  8. WE NEED TO PLAY  9. SORRY IM NOT PRETTY ENOUGH SORRY IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH  10. YOUR AMAZING I LOVE YOU  NINE things about yourself: 1. I LOVE MY FRIENDS 2. I LOVE HUGS WHERE IM HELED TIGHTLY  3. I TELL IT LIKE IT IS  4. I HAVE YET TO SEE ME BEING ANYTHING BUT CUTE  5. I HOPE IM MAKING A DIFFERENCE  6. I love RAIN  7. I LOVE MY DOG 8. I HAVE TO HAVE LIGHTS AND TV ON FOR ME TO SLEEP  EIGHT ways to win my heart: 1. BE MY FRIEND  2. LISTEN TO ME  3. PROVE TO ME I CAN TRUST YOU  4. HOLD ME  5. be there for me.... I LIKE HEATHER ROSE'S ANSWER :) 6. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL OR PRETTY SHOW IT TO ME DONT JUST SAY IT  7. NEVER STOP DOING THE LITTLE THINGS  8. BE HONEST WITH ME  SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot: 1. I NEED A JOB 2. DOES JESUS LIKE ME . 3. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING  4. I HOPE MY FRIENDS ARE HAPPY  5. WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TODAY  6. WHAT IS GOD DOING WITH ME  7. I NEED A CHURCH HOME  SIX things you wish you never did: 1. ALL I WISH 2. I  3. NEVER  4. DID  5. OR SAY  6. DOESNT BELONG ON HERE JUST ASK ME  FIVE turn offs: 1. JERKS  2. YELLIG  3. MAKING OUT  4. YEALL INAPPROATE WORDS OR PHRASES 5. CLEANNY  FOUR turn ons: 1. Smiles I AGREE 2. PERSONALITY  3. smart boys! AGREE 4. Hugs!AGREE THREE words that describe your life: 1. CRAZY  2. WILD 3. NUTS  TWO things you want to do before you die: 1. GO TO EUROPE  2. WHAT EVER ELSE GOD WILLS FOR ME  ONE confession: 1. I WISH YOU WERE MINE

grace is truly amazing

TODAY I GOT A CALL THAT MADE ME CRY LIKE A BABY MY FRIEND GINNA ( MY MENTOR SISTER) WHO ABOUSTLY AMAZING GRACE IS HER DOUGHTER AND ONLY 2 AND HAS HAD MORE HEALTH PROBLEMS THAN ANY HUMAN LITTLE ANY CHILD SHOULD EVER HAVE IF WANNA KNOW THEM ALL HERE IS LINK HTTP:// www.gracecrocker.com GRACE IS THE SWEETIEST LITTLE GIRL EVER AND JUST LOOKING AT HER WILL MELT YOUR HEART HER STORY WILL HOPEFULLY INSPIRE BUT YET MAKE YOU CRY. GINNA CALLED ME TODAY TO TELL THAT GRACE IS HAVING YET ANOTHER SURGERY EAITHER IN LATE FEB OR MARCH AND THEY STILL DONT KNOW WHAT CAUSING HER HEALTH PROBLEMS BUT GINNA AND GRACE AND THE REST THE FAM ARE TAKING IT DAY BY DAY AND TO KNOW THIS LITTLE ANGEL IS HAVING ANOTHER SURGERY IS MAKING MY HEART BREAK IN 2 IF YOU ASK ME GRACE IS AMAZING FOR SURVIVING EVERYTHING AND STILL SMILES AND GINNA IS DOING SO WELL JUST SO HAPPY TO HAVE HER LITTLE GIRL EVERY DAY

STEALING CINDERELLA

I JUST HERD THIS SONG ON CMT 

ITS CALLED STEALING CINDERELLA ( LYRICS BELOW) Chuck Wicks - Stealing Cinderella lyrics I came to see her daddy for sit down man to man It wasn't any secret I'd be asking for her hand I guess that's why he left me waiting in the living room by myself With at least a dozen pictures of her sitting on a shelf She was playing Cinderella She was riding her first bike Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin Dancing with her dad, looking up at him In her eyes I'm Prince Charming But to him I'm just some fella Riding in and stealing Cinderella I leaned in towards those pictures To get a better look at one When I heard a voice behind me say "Now, ain't she something, son?" I said "Yes, she quite a woman" And he just stared at me Then I realized that in his eyes she would always be Playing Cinderella Riding her first bike Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin Dancing with her dad, looking up at him In her eyes I'm Prince Charming But to him I'm just some fella Riding in and stealing Cinderella He slapped me on the shoulder Then he called her in the room When she threw her arms around him That's when I could see it too Playing Cinderella Riding her first bike Bouncing on the bed and looking for a pillow fight Running through the sprinkler with a big popsicle grin Dancing with her dad, looking up at him If he gives me a hard time I can't blame the fella I'm the one who's stealing Cinderella

THIS SONG IS REALLY GOOD BUT HAD ME BOWLING  BECAUSE THIS A  BAD VIEWING HIS BABY GIRL AS CINDERELLA AND HER FINACE  AND ITS SWEET 

BUT IT HAD ME BOWLING BECAUSE 

MY FATHER DOESENT SEE ME LIKE THIS AT ALL IN THE BEST WAY TO SAY HE VIEWS AS A WASTE OF SPACE IN TIME 

TO YALL YOU LUCKY GIRLS WHO DADS VIEW THIS WAY BE GREATFUL CAUSE IT SUCKS WHEN THEY CARE LESS ABOUT YOU 

AND I KNOW ILL NEVER HAVE HIM VIEW LIKE THIS AND I OKAY WITH THERE A FEW TIMES  WHEN IT KILLS ME IN SUCH AS HEARING THIS SONG 

I JUST HOPE PRAY THAT YOUNG MEN TODAY  WHO READ THIS OR TALK WITH NEVER TREAT THEIR GILRS THE WAY I KNOW A LOT OF MEN TOO AND  I PRAY NO EVER KNOWS THE PAIN ME AND SOME OF GOOD FRIENDS HAVE EXPEREICED I UNDERSTAND THAT I WAS MEANT TO FOR REASON 

AND I DONT KNOW IF ILL EVER GET MARRIED  IM NOT BAKING ON IT  SOCK TO MOST WHO GO TO OC AND COC  BUT I REALLY DONT THINK I WILL 

BUT I PRAY THAT  EVERY GIRL TO SOMEONE IS VIEWED  AS CINDERELLA TO THEIR DADS AND IF THEY'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND THEIR TRUE LOVE HE  ASLOS SEE HER THAT WAY 

AND TO THE DAD HE IS STEALING CINDERELLA 

AS FOR ME  IM NO CINDERELLA AND IM OKAY WITH IT 

I JUST HOPE MY FRIENDS KNOW THEY ARE  :) 

ive come to expect it from you

IF YOUR FATHER OR MALE YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE NOTES ON WHAT NOT TO WHEN AND IF YOUR BLESSED TO HAVE A DAOUGHTER OF YOUR OWN. some of you know that Don ( my "father") and I do not have a relationship for basic reasons of him pretty much eaither treating worse than dirt or pretending i do not exist even if im in same fucking room as him. now if ur dad i pray you never do that your doughter because you are the mole modles of what we do or dont want in our future relationships and supposed to establish how a guy treats us well Don never has and never will do that for me which hurts yes but im learning to just accept it any way my brother and sister in law got some shirts for him b/c they have a wounderful relationship with him and his wife of which im happy for them any way they were deilvered 2 days late ( way to go fed ex) so we got them today and my bro and sister in law asked my mother and I to take it over to Don and so we did after eating dinner at La Fonda ( my favorite mexican food resturant) any way at no surpise to me they had no clue i was in the car and my mother told me she was rather surpised he never mintiched me graduating college ( im not so surpised) and never even congrualated my mother on her engagement ( once again she surpised me not so much). any one who knows me knows i had a bunch of people pray for them when they got robbed last year and still went to mexico b/c haven forbid they dont go they dont get invited back my mom was surpised they never even asked about me to her or my bro or sister in law am i no what i dont understand how someone can place vaule on people who say u dont come this yr to mexico youll never come back or even bother to ask how their doughter is i guess im just stupid or i guess im truly insvable to them as much as this hurts nothing hurt more than when Don informed a cuple of months ago i was herandance to his alacohol budget well Don from me to you you now dont have to worry about love your doughter margaret anne canaday ohhh ps i have graduated and i finally gotten my self to calling you just as asshole and yes thats a big step and one of best friends calls you jack ass asshole and you truly live up to it so if you a dad or want to be one day please value your children whether they disabilites or not

HUMBLED

FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW I GRADUATED ABOUT A WEEK AGO AND IT DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT AT ALL AND I HAD BEEN FEELING GOOD AND WELL AND TODAY I GOT HUMBLILED BEYOND BELIEF MY MOMS BIBLE STUDY GROUP WERE ASKED TO HELP MOTHERS OF SINGLE WPUNDED SOILDERS HERE AT BROOKS ARMY BASE AND HOSPITIAL WICH IS ONE OF THE BEST IN THE WORLD ( NO LIE) WELL I WENT WITH THEM TO DELIVER THE PRESENTS AND ONE OF SOLIDERS WHO WAS GRAUDING THE BASE WAS REALLY IMPRESSED BY WHAT WE WERE THERE FOR AND HE SAID HE WISHED SOMEONE WOULD HAVE DONE IT FOR HIS MOM AND I WAS SHOCKED TO HEAR WHEN HE WAS INJURED IN IRAQ HE WAS HORRIBLE TREATED BUT HE NEVER ONCE FELT BAD FOR IT AND AS WE WERE TALKING AND WALKING TO MORE SOILDERS THEY WERE TELLING HOW MUCH THE MOM AND THEIR KIDS WILL APPRATE AND THANKED US FOR OUR SUPPORT AND WILLINGNESS TO GIVE AND TO ME IT WAS LIKE WELL DUH WOULDNT ANYONE UNTIL ONE PERSON WAS UPSET WE WOULD DO THIS AND THAN I TURNED AND SAID IF YOU WERE ANY OTHER COUNTRY SAYING YOU DIDNT LIKE THE PRESIDENT OR THE MILITARY YOU COULD DIE AND THEY SHUT UP REALLY FAST AND I SAW ONE SOILDER NO MORE THAN 19 CRYING AND I ASKED WHATS WRONG AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE YOU WANNA KNOW I SAID YES HE FOUND OUT HIS MOM WASNT GOING TO MAKE IT FOR THE HOILIDAYS BECAUSE HIS SISTER IS REALLY SICK (DIDNT SAY WITH WHAT) BUT IS HOSPITALIZED AND SO AT THAT MOMENT I GRABED THE CHRISTMAS CARD IN MY POCKET GAVE IT TO HIM AND WAS HONORED TO SEE THE MEN AND WOMEN MOVING AROUND THE BASE SOME WHO LOST BOTH THEIR LEGS AND SOME WHO LOST AN ARM OR WAS HIT BY ROAD SIDE BOMB BUT I WAS MORE HUMMBLED TODAY KNOWING SOME OF THEM MAY HAVE A LITTLE CHRITMAS CHEER HERE BUT MANY WILL NOT IM NOT ASKING YOU TO SUPPORT BUSH OR WHO EVER IS PRES IM ASKING TO SUPPORT THE TROOPS AND REMEBER HOW LUCKY WE ALL ARE AND HOW IF IT WERENT FOR THEM WE NEVER BE FREE GOD BLESS AND THANK GOD FOR THESE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN

The value of a ring = the value of oneself

While i was home over Thnaksgiving break My mom and I went ring shopping NOT ENGAGEMENT but for me for graduation becuase I didnt want an oc one. My mom and i went into a jewlery store where my brother got my sister in laws engagment ring ( i picked it out) but the owner of store who was very nice man said i love your doughter she loves jelwery i told i was looking for either blue topaz or amathest ( purple stone) well we were looking the first ring he puts on me is $20,000 no freaking joke i was aboustly speechless this georgous blue topaz/amathest combo with dimonds ahhh sooo pretty i couldnt believe it was on my finger and yet at the same time i was thinking to myself "im not worth of this expese ring" pluse i didnt want mom to spend that much on a ring and than the next ring was 15000 and so on down line i was wanting some i saw on line for like $200 and told him this and yes and i understand why but for such an accomplishment of graduatiing College you really desve a much pretter ring and he showed us a blue topaz with dimonds that was 900 and he said he give about 20% off which was really nice but still and i said this could be my enagement ring but i dont want my guy ( if i ever had or get one) to spend this much on ring and the owner said how much should he spend aksing me i said ohh probly $500 and he looked me he said beautiful you really desvre a better prettier ring than that and my mom said he better spend at least $900 on the ring and as much as loved the pretty expessive rings i cant imgage owning one casting so much because truthfully i really dont desvre one that expessive i just feel as though someone who is prettier and richer should but i can say mom said she found the ring at a differnt jelwery store i just cant wait to see which one she picked

Num to the pain

Every year around this time of year ( nov 12-dec 23) is always an emontional time of year for me a few good and many sad and hard times around this time have come about my birthday for the last twenty years ( starting at age 5) has been a day i no longer lookfoward to because people have died on it my granddad ( Don's father) and best died on my 5th birthday and twenty years later it still lhurts like it was yesterday and than on my 11th borthday my kiki died ( mom's mom) and kiki was my backbone and my seource of strength for so long that it still hurts knowing that my birthday is when she went home and than on my 13th my elder mentor from church died and than on my 17th birthday my cusin commited sucide on my birthday and although yes its been years since they have died but yet the hurt and the pain never have gone away well this sure i got the plusre of adding a funeral to my birthday my great aunt was barried yesterday on birthday, which has been another dealing in itself, any way i thought i had finally nub my self to hurt and the pain of birthday but i find that to be the furest thing from the truth right because all i have wanted to do is cry but i have been having to put on act of "im good" or "im ok" because i hate showing how i really feel and i hate being emontional infront of other people and i have had so many tell that its not allowed or whatever and that time will heal my pain which if that was the truth than why am i still hurting years later and i also wounder if the pain will ever go away.................... people always tell me to be happy on my birthday but honestly i just cant and you cant understand untill you have someone die on your birthday i just wounder if God is playing some evil mean joke on me for this or if h eeven likes me

Causing truble with out trying

Wow yesterday was an emontonal day without even trying for it to be I went to Senior Salute which is where Seniors at oc pay the fee, give address for year books to be sent and make sure everything right well i was making my way and down the line had my cap and gown in my hand which was unbelievable feeling not going to lie i couldnt believe it the biggest dream i have had since i was a little girl was finally coming true well any way i go to where i could order ( oc made invations not so pretty) pluse i had already ordered the ones I wanted and than I get to where the im soposed to get my "oc ring" well, i politly told the lady thank you but i do not want one lady " well you have to get one" me No I dont Lady yes you do there free me No i dont i would never wear it she calls another person you need a ring once a gain i said no thank you person 2 well i know your parents went here what about giving it for them me im the only person in my family who came here well more the reason to get one i dont want one what about putting it on your necklace i said no this is very spiecal and i do not want it if you cant tell by this point i was getting upset finally another person said if she dosent want one than she dosent have to get one geeze im sorry oc i dont want ur ugly ring and these were the peopel from the company holy cow

outta control

This sem has been one the hardest for me emontionally, spirtually, personally and physically im taking 17 hrs and i honestly dont know if im going to make it parts of me are wanting to work to point i just die literally but at the same time i hear my body saying quit im tired and it dosent help that my family sits there says "im not sure your gonna do it" or "really do think you can graduate" and other stuff and so i find myself questioning weather i can or not even though this one thing i have wanted my whole life yes a college degree is something i dreamed about getting now im sooo close but yet soo far i still have to surrive 6 classes, 4 reasrch papers, 1 reasch group/indiudial project + paper, a reasch essay on top of articels and journals and lord knows what else i just feel im soo outta control i dont know what im going to do i cant breath pluse im still fighting the illness in my lungs which dosent help im not trying to complain but i find i am and im sorry i put the blame on self and i myself doubting God more now than ever before which i hate because i know i shouldnt but its my stupid human nature and im fighting against my self to make my life better and i cant seem to beat myself or the doubts my family is placing on me i hope i can do this

THE POWER OF WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU AND TELL YOU

I have always been one to stand on my own ground and never afraid to speak my mind, inform people or make them aware of their prejudice of other people but never have i thought of my self as "strong" or "determainmed" or even "tough" I was doing what I thought i was supose to do and that i was supose to work 10x harder than most other students or be the outspeaken one the one who looks at the world very differently from most and i try vary hard not complain about it or even let it get to me i just asummed this was job what God had called to me do I was in a proffesors office last week and one I highly trust ( which is rareity for me ) and this proffesor and I were talking I was telling what had been going on between me and the supposed father of mine and how it was effecting my faith and views on God and Life in gernal and the proffesor was really helping me out when they threw a curve ball at me and said " your one of the strongest people I know" what me I have been in their office the week before sobbing ready to the throw the towel in on lots of things and than they say this its been a week and still cant believe it after hearing this I had the joys of talking to one of my best friends and they said well not only are you " strong" but your "tough" and "determained" which blew my mind still has but still struggling with my faith i wounder how can i be all of these when im struggling against the devil, fam, and stuff there is no way i can be "strong, determained, and tough" so i sit here woundering am i really could i be disbite everything who knows all i know im trying to figure out what i believe and what God knows/thinks of me so to my best friend and my proffesor thank you for pointing things out im not sure i would have ever seen or known

JUSTICE HAHAHA YEAH RIGHT MORE LIKE LETS SEE HOW BADLY WE CAN SCREW YOU OVER

Today I had my Court date for my ticket for the accident I had on the 30th of July I will let you I do not feel that I'm Guilty for it and I dont think I should have gotten one and Im uttlerly pissed off I was/ am used so a stupid Edmond Cop could meet his quata for that month. any way so I make my way to down town edmond to the court house where the procosactor informs us that we have one of 2 choices option 1. plead Guilty pay fine and dont get a ticket for 90 days wont go on the recored option 2 pled Not Guilty pay for the court fees give them about a month - 2 months get every one invovled in your case and than go to court than a bunch of us left the room to decide what we were going to do and they the two ladies working desk were shocked to hear our choices and cought off guard thats not normal we can let pay here you choose pled guilty or no constate and if you dont get a ticket for 90 days it wont go on your recored so that is what i ultimealy decided I feel very concrete in the fact that Edmond Screwed me over twice in this case once for getting the ticket and second for not getting a chance to hear my case like it used to be and it uttlerly pisses me off and Im not the only one another woman had same kind situation as me so to the Edmond Police dept you all suck and your court systeam is the screwest thing i have ever seen thank you sooo much for screwing over Good, Honest People and letting those who do much worse than us off easyer than ever I have offically lost all my respect for our judistal system and the Edmond Police force. love Margaret Canaday

IM SOMEWHERE, WHERE I NEVER THOUGHT I BE........

NEVER IN MY LIFE WOULD I HAVE EVER IMGAGED MY SELF SO FRUSTRATED, SCARED, NERVOUS, AXNGOUS, WORRIED, DOUBTFUL AFRAID , DEPRESSED ALL AT ONCE I MEAN I COULD SEE A CUPLE AT TIME YEAH THATS LIFE ALL OF EM AT ONCE NEVER IN MY WILDESTS DREAMS SOMETIMES LIFE CAN SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU SO CAN PEOPLE THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST IS I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT AT ALL I TRY TO PUT ON A BRAVE FACE WHEN I GO OUT IN THE WORLD BUT IM REALLY NOT BRAVE TRUTHFULY IM SCARED SHITLESS AND REALLY HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO DEAL WITH IT I GUESS I DO WHAT I VE BEEN DOING PRETEND ALL IS OKAY PRAY FEW KNOW THE REAL REASON AND HOPE IT WORKS OUT

THE REAL WORLD VS THE OC WORLD

I HAVE HAD A FEW JOBS IN MY DAY FROM TAKING CARE OF SPIECAL NEEDS KID TO BABY SITTING TO WORKING IN THE NOWLIN CENTER AT OC I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ONE TO BE APPRATIVE OF MY JOBS BECAUSE IT WAS MONEY THAT HELPED PAY BILLS OR FOOD OR WHATEVER I NEEDED BUT TODAY I FOR THE FIRST TIME I FIND SELF NOT EVER WANTING A JOB EVER AGAIN I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO COME ABOUT 30 MINS BEFORE I WAS SUPOSE TO BE THERE AND WORK THE FULL SHIFT AND STAY AFTER IF NEEDED WITHOUT EVER COMPLAINING AND MY FORMER BOSSES HAVE ALWAYS APPRATED IT AND THANKED ME FOR IT AND EVEN HELPING OUT AT REPUBLICAN HEADQUATERS IN SA SAMETHING VERY HAPPY TO SEE ME THERE WORKING HELPING OUT WELL FASTFORWARD TODAY AND ME WORKING THE NOWLIN CENTER AT OC WHICH LIKE A REC CENTER ANY WAY ALL SUMMER I HAD KEPT WITH SAME RETURN COMMING IN ABOUT 30 MINS EARLY AND I HAD DONE IT ALL SUMMER PUT ON MY HOURS FOR WORK HOWEVER I GET CALLED INTO MY BOSSES OFFICE ( LANA) AND SHE GOT REALLY MAD AT THE FACT I SHOWED 30 MINS EARLY NOT UPSET WITH GIRL WHO NEVER BOTHERS TO COME IN AT ALL OR GET SOMEONE TO COVER FOR HER BUT OHHH NO LETS GET MAD AT PERSON WHO COMES IN 30 MINS AND RARLEY ASKS FOR SOMEONE TO COVER FOR HER NEVER IN LIFE I HAVE I SEEN SUCH A THING AND TURLY THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN HERE AT THE OC TURLY UNREAL AND AFTER MY BOSS NEW WHAT SHE WAS GETTING AND NEW I WOULD COME IN SO I REALLY HAVE NO CLUE ON WHY NOW SHE GETS PISSED OFF FOR ME COMMING IN EARLY AFTER THIS IM NOT SURE I WANT TO GET A JOB FOR THE FALL LIKE I HAD PLANNED ALL SUMMER HOW IN THE WORLD DOES THIS MAKE SENSE SOMEONE PLEASE CLUE ME IN

am i human or a disease

WELL THE OTHER DAY .. WENT FOR A 2ND OPP..ON ON MY HEALTH AND THE DOC .. WENT TO SEE HAPPENS TO BE GOOD FR..ENDS W..TH MY DOC AND WE WERE TALK..NG AND HE NOT SURE MY DOC HAS BEEN TREAT..NG ME R..GHT S..NCE ..M ST..LL S..CK AND UTTERLY P..SSED HE NEVER D..D A LUNG BYOP..SS..E AND ONLY D..D SCOPES 2 YRS AGO AND ..SNT SURE ..M ON THE R..GHT DRUGS BUT HE ..S REFUS..NG TO SAY WHAT HE TH..NKS ..S WRONG UNT..LL HE GETS PAST X RAYS AND CTS AND HE HAS ORDERED NEW ONE W..TH MORE ..NTES..VE BLOOD TEST ( Y..PP..E) ANY WAY ..M NOT SURE WHAT TO TH..NK CUZ .. HAVE NO CLUE OF WHATS GO..NG ON W..TH BODY AND .. FEEL L..KE NE..THER ARE L..ST..NG TO ME WELL .. KNOW ONE ..SNT WHEN .. READ MY REPORT HE HAS ON ME ANY WAY ..M SOO S..CK AND T..RED OF BE..NG S..CK AND NOT KNOW..NG WHAT THE FUCK ..S GO..NG ON W..TH MY BODY AND ..M T..RED OF BE..NG TREATED L..KE A D..SEASE AND NOT HUMAN AHHHHHH TO MY FR..ENDS GO..NG ..NTO THE MED..CAL PERFOSS..ON PLEASE TREAT YOUR PA..NTES L..KE HUMANS OR ELSE ..LL HONT YOU ..N UR DREAMS AND ..M WUNDER..NG ..F ..M EVEN SEEN AS A HUMAN ANY MORE OR JUST TH..NG W..TH A D..SEASE OR SOMETH..NG ELSE W..LL ..T EVER END MAY BE NOT <..MG src="http://x.myspace.com/..mages/blog/sm..leys/bummed.g..f"> GOTTA LOVE REAL..TY

PRETTY ENOUGH I WOUNDER

THE SONG LISTED BELOW IS REALLY GOOD ITS CALLED PRETTY ENOUGH BY KASEY CHAMBERS AND Am I not pretty enough?Is my heart too broken?Do I cry too much?Am I too outspoken?Don’t I make you laugh?Should I try it harder?Why do you see right through me?I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me,I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break,I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough,I try as hard as I can.Am I not pretty enough?Is my heart too broken?Do I cry too much?Am I too outspoken?Don’t I make you laugh?Should I try it harder?Why do you see right through me?I laugh, I feel, I make believe it’s real,I fall, I freeze, I pray down on my knees,I hope, I stand, I take it like a man,I try as hard as I can.Am I not pretty enough?Is my heart too broken?Do I cry too much?Am I too outspoken?Don’t I make you laugh?Should I try it harder?Why do you see right through me?Why do you see, why do you see, why do you see right through me?x4 THIS TOTALLY DESCRIBES HOW I FEEL WITH GUYS AND SOMETIMES MY OWN FAMILY THERE IS ANOTHER SONG BY KELLIE PICKLER WHICH ALSO RELATES TO ME ALOT ITS CALLED I WOUNDER Sometimes I think about youWonder if you're out there somewhere thinking bout meAnd would you even recognizeThe woman that your little girl has grown up to beCause I look in the mirror and all I seeAre your brown eyes lookin back at meThey're the only things that you gave to me, at allOh, I hear the weather's nice in CaliforniaThere's sunny skies as far I can seeIf you ever come back home to CarolinaI wonder what you'd say to meI think about how it aint fairThat you weren't there to braid my hairLike mothers doYou weren't around to cheer me onHelp me dress for my high school promLike mothers doDid you think I didn't need you hereTo hold my handTo dry my tearsDid you even miss me through the years at allOh, I hear the weather's nice in CaliforniaThere's sunny skies as far I can seeIf you ever come back home to CarolinaI wonder what you'd say to meForgiveness is such a simple wordBut it's so hard to do when you've been hurtOh, I hear the weather's nice in CaliforniaAnd just in case you're wondering about meFor now on I won't be in CarolinaYour little girl is offYour little girl is offYour little girl is off to Tennessee NOW MOST PEOPLE FIND THESE SONGS DEPRESSING BUT THE FUNNY THING FOR ME IS I FIND MORE TRUTH IN THESE SONGS THAN MOST OTHERS I HEAR ON THE RADIO THAT I LOVE TO LISTEN TO AND SING TO BUT THESE MAKE ME THINK OF WHAT I DONT HAVE AND WHAT I DO HAVE AND IN SOME WAYS MADE ME STRANGER AND RELAIZE I TRY NOT TO TAKE THINGS FOR GRATED AND SOMETIMES I WOUNDER ABOUT MY BIRTHPARENTS AND MY FATHER AND MY GRANDFATHER WHO I NEVER REALLY KNEW BUT ALL I KNOW IS GOD HAS PLACED ME ON A PATH I CANT CHANGE NOR WOULD I AND I CAN ONLY HOPE IM DOING WHAT HE WOULD WANT ME TO AND AM I MAKING MY KIKI AND MY GRANDFATHER PROUD

I HAVE MOVED ON

I FEEL I SHOULD BLOG ABOUT THIS NOT FOR BRAGGING RIGHTS BECAUSE THIS NOTHING TO BE BRAGGING ABOUT BECAUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A VERY LONG TIME I HAVE A BETTER OUT LOOK ON LIFE AND ON MY FUTURE THAN I HAVE EVER ESPOLLY WITH MY FATHER, NOW IM STILL HAVE MANY MORE TO GET OVER AND COME TO PEACE WITH BUT THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN KILLING ME FOR THE LONGEST TIME IS NOW OVER............................... AS MANY OF YOU I NEVER DID GET ALONG WITH MY FATHER AND STILL DONT AND HAVE HAD A HARD TIME DEALING WITH IT WELL AS OF THE OTHER DAY I HAVE GOTTEN A PEACE WITH THE FACT THAT HE AN ASSHOLE BUT IS MY BROTHERS BEST FRIEND AND THAT IM HAPPY FOR AND I FELT LIKE I WAS THE BIGGEST LOSER BUT RECENTLY I HAVE RELISED THAT IM RICHER THAN HE WILL EVER BE AND I DONT MEAN IN POINTLESS THINGS SUCH AS MONEY, CARS, LIFE STYLE, VACATIONS AND SO ON BUT IN MEANING THAT I HAVE SOME OF THE MOST AMAZING FRIENDS IN THE WORLD AND A CUPLE WHO WILL UNDERSTAND THIS BLOG BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE, I ALSO HAVE GOD WHO LOVES LIKE NO OTHER AND WHO STANDS BESIDE THOUGH EVERYTHING AND THUS MAKES ME RICHER IM NOT SAYING IT WONT HURT TO KNOW IM NEVER GONNA BE MY FATHERS LIL GIRL BUT THATS OKAY BUT I HAVE COME TO A POINT TO WHERE I' NO LONGER CRYING OVER IT OR HIS JACKASS GAMES HE PLAYS WITH ME. NOW I WILL NEVER FORGET WHAT HE DID TO ME CUZ ITS SOMETHING YOU CANT FORGET BUT I HAVE FORGIVEN HIM AND I'M OKAY WITH IT THIS DOSENT MEAN I WANT TO SEE HIS SORRY ASS OR TALK TO HIM BUT I HAVE CLOSED OUT THE PAIN AND THOUGH IT THIS IS A BIG STEP FOR ME AND IT IS THE BEST FEELING EVER AND I FEEL A HUGE WEIGHT LIFTED OFF MY SHOULDERS AND I WANT TO THANK SOME ANGELS WHO HAVE HELPED ME ALONG THE WAY LAUREN, KPS, MEGAN, JAMIE, JAMI, SARAH, SARAH N GINNA AND OF COURSE GOD NO MORE CRYING OVER HIM FEELS GOOD

PUTTING PEOPLE IN THEIR PLACE IS THE BEST JOB I COULD EVER HAVE

YES I KNOW WHAT INTERESTING TITLE I HAVE FOR THIS POST AS SOME OF YOU KNOW I WENT TO A SMALL PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL IN SA AND FOR THE MOST PART IT WAS ALRIGHT I MADE SOME GOOD FRIENDS BUT NOTHING MAKES PROUNDER THAN KNOW WHEN I TOLD THE ADMINSTARTION IN A FEW WORDS TO BASICLY KISS MY ASS I DID BECAUSE I KNEW THEY WERE WRONG AND DETERMAINED TO PROVE IT TO THEM THIS A SCHOOL THAT TELL KIDS LIKE ME WHO ARE LD ( LEARNING DISABLIED) WE WERE STUPID AND AT BEST WOULD ONLY FLIP BURGERS AT BURGER KING OR MCDONLADS FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES ( BULL SHIT) AND WELL THEY ALSO WOULD LIT THE EXMARLY SPIECAL NEED KIDS ONE IN PIRTULAR A GIRL NAKED KIMBERLY ( NAME CHANGE FOR PERSONAL REASONS) WAS MENTALY RERTARTED/CHALLEGED BUT VERY BRIGHT HER MOTHER, SOME OTHER KIDS MOTHERS AND MY SELF COULD SEE THE PONTEL FOR THESE KIDS TO LIVE IN GROUP HOMES, GET SOME TRADE SCHOOLING FOR WORKING IN THE REAL WORLD. WELL TODAY MY MOM SAW KIMBERLY AND HER MOM GETTING THEIR NAILS DONE AND KIMBERLY AND HER MOTHER WERE WE MISS YOUR DOUGHTER SO MUCH SHE DID SO MUCH TO ENCOURGE OUR KIDS AND NOW TELL SCHOOL THEY CAN DO MORE THAN WANT THEM TO BELIEVE AND STILL DISCURAGE THEM FROM IT WELL KIMBERLY IS LIVING IN A GROUP HOME ABLE TO TAKE THE BUS AND HER BIKE GO GET MEDICANE AND HAS A JOB AT LOCAL PIZZA PLACE AND IS GOING TO TRADE SCHOOL AND SHE AND HER MOM CREDITED TO ME FOR BEING SO BITCHY TO THE SCHOOL AND ENCOURGING HER TO DO IT SO IN THE END MOST SAY I SHOULDNT PUT PEOPLE IN THEIR PLACE WELL I FIND MY JOB BEING LD, AND BEING A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE OTHER WISE I WOULDNT BE ME AND IT SHOW THE WORLD I DIDNT CARE

this be a mirecal if it were to actually happen

ITS WEIRD KNOW ALMOST ALL OF FRIENDS ARE IN THE FALLOWING AREAS 1. DATING 2. ENGAGED 3. MARRIED 4. MARRIED SOON TO HAVE/ HAVE KIDS WHICH IS GREAT IM ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE MY FRIENDS HAPPY BUT WITH THE LIFE I HAVE HAD AND SOME OF CLOSEEST FRIENDS LIFE HAS THROWN US SOME INTERESTING VIEWS ON LOVE AND ON DATING AND WELL SORRY BUT EVEN GUYS ONE OF FRIENDS TOLD SHE WAS AMAZED ON HOW MANY "DATES" I HAVE GONE ON AND WELL YES I DO GO ON "DATES" BUT USEUALLY WITH GIRLS ( FRIENDS) AND GO TO DINNER OR ILL TALK TO A GUY FRIEND SAY LETS HANG OUT TO BE TRUTHFUL I HAVE ONLY GONE ON ONE REAL DATE IN MY LIFE AND PART OF IT WAS OUT SYMOPTHY BUT STILL VARY NICE A DATE MEANING - GUY CALLS GIRL ASKS HER TO LUNCH OR DINNER AND THAN TAKES HER TO MOVIE, BOWLING OR SOMETHING ELSE OR COOKS AND DOES OTHER STUFF UNDER HIS OWN WILL AND NOT OUT OF SYMOPTHY OR ANYTHING IN RECENT YEARS I HAVE COME TO KNOWN FACT THAT THIS IS JUST NOT MEANT FOR ME AND WILL NOT HAPPEN WHICH IM OKAY WITH BUT FOR THE REASONS MOST DONT SEE AS ME BEING SERICOUS OR SAY IM SILLY ITS THE FACT OF LIFE GUYS ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL SEE ME AS ONE OR MORE OF THE FALLOWING 1. GOOD FRINED 2, LIKE A SISTER 3. ONLY GOOD FOR ONE THING ( SEX) BECUASE I BIG BOOBS ( SO I HAVE BEEN TOLD NUMEROUS TIMES) ANY WAY I LOVE MY FRIENDS MY DREAM GROWING UP AS A LITTLE GIRL IS THAT I WOULD HAVE A GUY WHO WAS A LITTLE BETTER THAN THE AHOLE KNOWN AS MY FATHER AND WELL KNOWING IT WONT HAPPEN BECUASE HE WAS RIGHT ON THIS ONE I WOULD TRULY BE SHOCKED IF A GUY WILLING WANTED TO GO ON DATE WITH ME BECAUSE GUYS LIKE TO PLAY WITH MY EMONTIONS AND IF IT WERE TO HAPPEN I PROBLY WOULDNT THINK ITS TRUE BECUASE I HAVE BEEN PRANKED AND LIED TO SOOO MANY TIMES I HAVE COME TO ACCEPT THAT I WILL ALWAYS BE THE GIRL " WHO WOULD DIE FOR A DECENT BF AND FOR A GUY TO GIVE UP HIS COAT WHEN ITS COLD AND TO CALLED BEAUTIFUL INSTED OF HOTT BUT I WILL ALWAYS BE ON SIDELIENS" TO MY FRIENDS I SAY WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD AND MINE AS WELL THE SADDER PART IS MOST OF THIS DONE BY THOSE CHO CLAM TO BE CHRISTIANS HMMMMMMMMMM SO PLEAAE SPARE ME GOD HAS A GOOD CHRISTIAN MALE FOR YOU OR CHRISTIAN GUYS ARE BETTER THAN THIS TO THATS THE BIGGEST LIE NEXT TO OHH YOUR FATHER REALLY LOVES YOU HAHAHA BULL SHIT TO IT ALL JUST SOME THOUGHTS ....................................

whats the point

WELL I GUESS ITS TIME TO UPDATE ON ME LATELY I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH WHATS THE POINT OF CHRISTIANITY BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH A BUNCH OF HIPPOCRATES IN PEOPLE WILL SAY OHH YES WE HAVE TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER BUT WHEN SOMEONE WHO WALKS ON OC CAMPUS OR A CHURCH FOR THAT MATTER THERE LIKE HE CANT TALK TO THIS PERSON THERE NOT LIKE US OR B/C I WASN'T RAISED COC PEOPLE TELL ME ALL THE TIME ITS SHAME YOU WERE RAISED PRESBYTERIAN IM GONNA BE BLUNT COC ISN'T ANY BETTER THAN THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH YES THINGS ARE VERY DIFFERENT BUT I THINK ITS A GREAT THING BUT ANOTHER IS A BUNCH OF CHRISTIANS WILL SUGAR COAT HOW THEY FEEL ABOUT PEOPLE OR BE REALLY NICE AND THAN TALK HORRIBLE ABOUT THAT PERSON AT LEAST WITH MY FRIENDS WHO ARE DRUNK AND DRUNK PPL IN GENIAL WHO AREN'T CHRISTIAN ARE AT LEAST THE MOST BLUNT AND HONEST GROUP OF PPL AND LESS JUDGEMENTAL WHICH IS WHAT CHRIST WANTS MINUS THE BEING DRUNK SO IF AS CHRISTIANS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LOVING AND CARING AND HONEST THAN WHY ARE SOOO CHRISTIANS JUDGEMENTAL IT JUST DOSE NT MAKE SENSE TO ME??????????

i dont know what the next step is...................

Well im about to graduate in dec im about to accomplish a dream that i honstly wasnt sure would come true, but with the support of my best friends and my grandmother instealing in to achive it i will and now im thinking about grad school in something i know i would love which is spiecal education i love those kids i have always dreamed of working witth people like that because of my mine disablilites i have been expressing these to my mother and she telling why would go to grad school you wont make it or theres no need for it but i feel it could be useful i just dont know what God has instore for me i just know its not moving back home when i left for oc i knew i would never live in sa again yes i love it and love visting it but i couldnt live there ever again and now im about to graduate from oc i dont know if i will stay in okc for the rest of life or move to the east coast where i fell in love great partly because of lauren and part of me feels may be i would be long there more than here i have lived in the south my whole and felt like i dont belong which very weird...... when people ask what im going to do after graduate i have no idea i just know God has a plan for me and i just hope he revales it to me cuz i dont know what the next step and wish my fam had more faith in me but so much for wishing

if your gonna say your gonna do something than do it or dont say youll do it

Well, recently a lot of people who have claimed to be my "friends" have said hey yeah lets hang out lets get ice cream or lunch or dinner, however every time i try to get with them to do so they a. say well i cant this week what about next and keep it going b. say yeah ill call you, but never call c. ill call them, email, or facebook and they never respond d. or say i promise will do it soon and when it never happens believe it or not it hurts me and makes me wounder why you would want to be my "friend" when you dont actually spend time with me now im not saying im prettiest thing in the world or smartest but i think im fun person but apparently im not and i get hurt when people put me off or act as if pushing me off dosent hurt becuase it does and makes me wounder why they want to be friends when they dont want to spend time with me if you dont want to spend time with than tell me ill gladly stop talking to you and wasting my time on you but at least stop hurting me and my feelings

stranger in a familur place

IT CRAZY TO THINK THAT I HAVE JUST FINSHED MY LAST SPRING SEMSTER OF COLLEGE EVER AND THE EVEN HARDER THING IS AS I GO ON I FEEL AS THOUGH I NO LONGER BELONG ALL OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE GONE EVERY SEMSTER I LOSE MORE PEOPLE I KNOW AND CLOSE FRIENDS AND I WALK AROUND AND I KNOW ALL THE PLACES HOWEVER I JUST DONT KNOW ANY ONE AROUND ME ANY MORE I FEEL OUT OF PLACE AND I FEEL AS THOUGH I HAVE WORN OUT MY WELCOME AND I FEEL THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN ITS SO WEIRD I KNOW IM READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF MY LIFE HOW EVER I DONT KNOW WHAT IT WILL BE WEATHER GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL, STAYING IN OKC, OR MOVING TO EAST COAST OR WHO KNOWS WHAT I JUST HOPE AND PRAY THAT GOD WILL SHOW ME IN TIME ONE MORE FINAL AND 2 MORE PAPERS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AND WHILE IM EXCITED I REALLY JUST WANNA SEE AND BE WITH MY BEST FRIENDS

another semster down

Wow its the end of the semster here at oc as in finals are next week which is crazy i cant believe it im now trying to get ready fro summer classes and growing up and living on my own i will be hopefully moving off campus this fall and working this summer, and next fall im going to be busy with trying to graduate and classes and stuff and now everyone asking " WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER YOU GRADUATE?" and i have no clue i know what my dream career / job would be but i dont if ill get that and i started toying with the idea of Grad School and so far anyone i have told has looked at me like im crazy again as they did when i said i was going to college so now im 2ns guessing myself again too i dont know any more i just want to give up

hairless

Well tonight i went to take a shower and shave my legs and i hadnt since the end of nov ( do to winter i dont shave no one sees them any way and if u did u wouldnt have had a clue) any way i looked at my raiser to clean it off and noticed it wasnt hair but my skin yes skin so because of the chemo i have lost my hair on my legs the funny thing it took me by surispse but not really as hard to deal with as when i lost clumps of my hair this summer and so when i noticed this i felt down but not sad its weird to know that where hair once was isnt there any more but yet it dosent bother me as much as i thought it would i knew i would have a good chance of losing hair b/c of the chemo but its wierd b/c my blood and everything else is normal so honestly right now i dont know how to feel im not asking for pitty by any means but when you think you have it rough just remeber there are people who have it much worse than you

are we really christians

wouldnt let me go until i could explaine things back to him and the disabilites support serves dept was amazing people who understood and took the time to make sure i knew i was doing my best and teachers caring about what i was going to do with my future and make sure i did stuff i loved and constly encuraged me to do better than i thought i could and told and challeged me to think outside the box where as the school i go to know i love for the most part and i love most people i have meet but yet i have been hurt by the people by people who call themsleves Christians i have been told to drop i would never make it here or people with really dont have anything wrong with they there just Lazy people i have been told i wouldnt graduate or im failure for not being raised coc or told b/c i question so much and or being open minded im not Christ like and told b/c my parents are divorced im a horrible person and im going to hell for it which im sorry its BS my school prides its self on being "christian" however they are the MOST judmental people i have ever meet and although some of teachers would go out of their way for me most wouldnt care and if they here what im dealing with write me off as hopeless how can be a christian when you judge people and when people are hurting you act like it dosent matter or even try to help them or reach out to them and go the extra mile Christ would have and he would stand his ground im sorry Christ wasnt a white middle class American he was poor Middle Eastern Man who helped others told the truth and stood his ground some stuff to think about it

friends

the truth Well its been awhile since i bloged and something has been on mind for quite some time but i have just brushed it asided as me being my "dumb self" or its not really true its just the depression i have finally decided that what im about to blog about / rant/ change/ point out w/o using names needs to be said and delt with........ on that noete here i go............. I have always been one that people have liked to admit they were "my friends" because i was popular i was nice one i would do any thing for any one ie buy them food send them notes call to make sure they got the hw if they werent in school or see if there was anything i could do for them thats how my kiki (grandmother) and momma tought me to be it called being southern, and restable and helpful however it seems that even in college people were only wanting this to use me thanks to some real friends that pointed this out and who have stood up for me but it has also accured to me that in high school i was one everyone knew but didnt really wanna hang out with unless they had too kinda thing and was one everyone else made fun of i used to rub it off and act like i didnt care and most of time i didnt i go along and make of my self to lessen the pain and hurt but i had always herd that college would be the best time of my life and were i would meet my real friends well in a since thats true i can name about 8 people i know i can count to help me out at given second now your thinking she knows wayy more than 8 people and that is true i know a lot of people here at oc and other uviversities and colleges but thats not what i mean cuz a good majority of them and you all know who are and dont lie to your selves have made fun of me eaither to my face or behind my back or both or my personal favorite pretended to be my friend but reallity you were doing it to boost your popularity and stuff but in real life you could care less how im doing b/c you never bother to ask me how im doing and bty if you do ask people make sure you wanna know the truth with cuz im gonna tell it like it is im not gonna sweet coat it. Now by no means am i saying that im perfect or that i havent done some of this but i have learned to not talk abotu ppl behind their backs and i stand up for those who i know truly care about and actually wouldnt mind giving up their saturday night or more to see me or make the effort to chat with me online or talk to me on the phone and for some of my friends espolly those over seas its a lot harder than those who live here in the states and even eaiser for those who live in the same time zone as me there some of closest friends who have made fun of me granted i probly disvered it cuz i did something stupid and believe i do that a lot so im not saying at those times but when some one does every day or behind my back believe i do find out and even though you dont see the pain and hurt it causes me believe it sucks and it just makes me wounder who really does care who really are my friends and am i really a good person another thing im used to being judged b/c of my weight, my LD, my sickness, and the fact i wasnt raised in the church and people have made fun of me for that and the fact i dont know the bible as well as 95% of this campus which hurts a lot b/c insted of taking the time to talk with me about it and learn about me they decided im hopeless and worthless and i used to think i was something great and spiecal boy was i ever wrong and i have learned that juding people by the outside is worst thing we can do its hard not to i know but i really do try to get to know someone before i judge them what im saying in all of this im now more than ever careful of who i can and cant trust who i open up to and who i dont because most people will throw it back in your face and or use it make fun of you and if you one of those whose uses things like againsst people believe they find out theyre hurt and they lose trust and faith in you becareful how you want to known as and treat people the way you want to be treated and to the 8 whom i trust more than life its self with my secert you know who are thank you for being my real friends...............

help somebody

help somebody Okay so im going on a rant right now but this needs to be said today i was talking with my roomie and she was saying that she thought it was cool that all the art and design and inter design majors were going to wear bandannas becuase a teacher was having brain surgery well in going to class and a meeting she relized out all the girls in the inter design dept she was the only girl who wore and the other girls gave exuses of i wanted to do my fair or i didnt have to match my out fit..... here the thing as Christian we are called to help our brothers and sisters and how hard is it really not to do your hair for one day or not comptley match i mean really is that hard being someone who has had done something crazy for just so i wouldnt be alone gave me more confidence than anything in the world we always say were willing to go the next mile and we talk the talk but in the end are willing to walk the walk i know people who clampain about helping other people if your gonna complain about it or not do it THAN DONT SAY YOU WILL geeze vandanze said it best "HELP SOMEBODY"

the facts of life

THE FACTS OF LIFE as i sit not able to sleep becuase i need to get this off my mind but i want to make this as clear as possible im NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPOTHY OR COMMETS OF YOUR SILLY OR THATS NOT TRUE there some facts about my life i have come accept and i dont understand or see why others cant or resfuse to understand what im saying i have never been the tipical girl the way most girls see is ohh she is sweet but ugly or yeah she is nice but i really dont wanna admit im her friend even now in college that has always been the case now with the guys even now guys have always seen me in one of the fallowing ways 1. " fat ugly stupid bitch' 2. as a someone they want to do just because she has big boobs but dont really want to because shes too fat for fucking words and thats all she be good for 3. ehh she okay shes just one the guys 4. shes a friend/little sister no guy in his right mind would ever see me as anything more and i have always been okay with it even when i had bf thats how i was treated i have never been a "princess" or anything speical and i came to college and for the most part it has been the same but more recently i have had some friends who have trying very hard to convicnce me otherwise and as much as i love them its just not the case i know better and i say this and i wish they would get off my back about it and i wish they would stop saying stuff that will never ever happen granted deep down i would love to be married but i also know in my heart i never will be becuase things that go for most people dont work for me and its something im more than okay with and i promise you there is no guy who would want a girl like me with my past and deal with a girl who ld and other problems so for the sake of being healthy lets get off the this idea and let life go on i have known this truth as far as i can remeber so what would be different from the truth i knew growing up to now nada all i know is im the same girl with the same dreams of graduating college and seeing what God has instore for her

to all the girls

I'm sorrythat i bought you rosesto tell you that i like youI'm sorryThat I was raised with respectnot to sleep with you when you were drunkI'm sorryThat my body's not ripped enoughto "satisfy" your wantsI'm sorrythat I open your car door,and pull out your chair like I was raisedI'm sorryThat I'm not cute enoughto be "your guy"I'm sorryThat I am actually nice;not an assholeI'm sorryI don't have a huge bank accountto buy you expensive thingsI'm sorryI like to spend quality nights at homecuddling with you, instead of at a clubI'm sorryI would rather make love to you then just f**k youlike some random guy.I'm sorryThat I am always the one you need to talk to,but never good enough to dateI'm sorryThat I always held your hair back when you threw up,and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,but when we went out you went home with another guyI'm sorryThat I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friendI'm sorryIf I start not being there, and being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new asshole comes aroundI'm sorryIf I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before workI'm sorry that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.I'm sorryIf you read this and know somebody like thisbut don't care But most of allI'm sorryFor not being sorry anymoreI'm sorryThat you can't accept me for who I amI'm sorryI cant ever do anything right, and nothing that I do is goodenough to make it in your world.I'm sorryI caught your bf with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...I'm sorryThat I told you I loved you and actually meant it.I'm sorryThat I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your bf was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.I'm SorryThat i caredI'm sorrythat I listen to you at night talk about how you wish you could have done something different.Ladies always bitch and bitch to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies next time you're bitching, maybe look up to see who you're bitching to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry "If You're one of the few girls with enough balls to repost, and you would never make your guy feel this way, repost as "To all the girls who.."

THIS IS WHAT REAL LOVE Category: Life So today i was out mercy doing stuff before my docs apt and i came by 2 waiting rooms as i was making my way around mercy and saw in 2 different waiting rooms in one a man crying and in the other a family crying, well there was a little girl about 4 or 5 who went into the other waiting room and asked sir why are you crying and the man i lost my wife,mybestfriend, my soul mate and girl said come with and so he fallowed her into the next room the girls mother looked up said sir what are doing in here and the girl said mom in one day he lost his best friend, his soul mate and his wife all in one day and well i know how we lost bubba today i didnt want to cry byhislf and he said im sorry how did ur son die and they said a drunk driver killed him and hes said i understand that i have lost my oldest son in Iraq, my doughter and my youngest son my youngest was deriving drunk one night and hit his sister and killed her and now he is in jail for the rest of his life this is the what real love is make sure you tell the ones you love be it friends or family how much you love them you never know how long you have with them

when a girl bumps into your arm

When a girl bumps into your armwhile walking she wantsyou to hold her handWhen she wants a hugshe will just stand thereWhen u break a girls heart,she still feels it whenu run into each other 3 years laterWhen a girl is quiet,millions of things are running through hermind.When a girl is not arguing,she is thinking deeply.When a girl looks at you with eyes full ofquestions,she is wondering how long you will bearound.When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after afew seconds,she is not at all fine.When a girl stares at you,she is wondering why you are sowonderful.When a girl lays her head on your chest,she is wishing for you to be hers forever.When a girl says that she can't livewithout you,she has made up her mind that you areher future.When a girl says, "I miss you, "no one in this world can miss you morethan thatWhen a girl is mean to you after a breakupshe wants you back, but she'sscared she'll get hurt and knowsyou're gone foreverGuy Facts:When a guy calls you,he wants to be with youWhen a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrongWhen a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a fewminutes,he means itWhen a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him andwonders if you doWhen you're laying your head on a guy'schest,he has the worldWhen a guy calls you everyday,he is in loveWhen a (good) guy tells you he loves you,he means itWhen a guy says he can't live without you,he's with you till your doneWhen a guy says, "I miss you, "he misses you more than you could haveever missed him or anything elserepost this in 10 minutes and your truelove willCall youpost this asIF YOUR A GUY "When a guy calls you..."ANDIF YOUR A GIRL POST IT AS "When a girl bumps into your arm..."