well i havent been my self recently i know im a lil overweleped and stressed but that dosent even normaly keep me from being happy go lucky i guess its the fact i want to be at home but i have to be here but home isnt always the best place eaither for me however i have come to a thought may be im not mys elf because im chainging and growing and some of things that used to make me happy arent or dont and the other thing may be its just that im tired of it all could that be whats wrong with me??? may be im just tired of family and close friends doubting my ability still and people giving up on me or questioning what im doing is the right thing this what could be it???? well hopefully ill get back to being me soon if you have any ideas on what could be wrong with please by all means drop a commet and tell me ps angie and kp yall are amazing

my best

if you are reading this and want to go on as you read dont feel sorry for me or anything just listen with your eyes.... i sit in class take notes, read for classes, take tests, and write papers and i hear from a few friends is that the best you can ask of me is for me to do my best well my best seems to very bad and low and what makes it worst is i will ride high feel good about a test or paper then to come to find out i did really bad on it and i go from feeling good about myself to feeling like crap and its hard for me to see im doing good anywhere i just dont get it may be my mom is right my best isnt goodenough or i need to care yet even more are you kidding me i care so much about everything but its weird how things like what people say about you or papers or tests can get you from feeling good to feeling bad this why i have stoped saying ohh i feel good about it or i owned that test things like this will never happen to me im stopping from thinking like that and may be ill have to do better than my best cause its just not good enough as your reading this dont feel sorry for me cause that wont help just listen may be im a dork or may be not i dunno i just know that when u look at my tests and papers and other espacts of my life my best deffently isnt good enough

friends

i have to say god has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams when i came to oc i thought to myself ok i can get though college in like 4or 5 years and know just a few people well thats not what God had plainned for me he had set for me to know so many amazing people all who have impacted my life and i really never thoguth i would go to college and now i have and am in college and wow its amazing so im starting make even more dreams for myself and i honestly cant wait to see what God has instore for me he blessed with some friends who have stood by me though some really diffcult and hard times and i figured they would give up on me but surpsingly they havent yes it is a surpise to me b/c i have had friends in the past but when hard times hit me they left and i thought that was okay well im soo thankful for my real friends and i want to say thank you to angie, kevin, anna, aubrie , misty for always being there for me when i have needed yall the most and havent been the best of a friend/sis so i thank you it has meant soo much to me i love you guys sooo much love marge