IM SOMEWHERE, WHERE I NEVER THOUGHT I BE........

NEVER IN MY LIFE WOULD I HAVE EVER IMGAGED MY SELF SO FRUSTRATED, SCARED, NERVOUS, AXNGOUS, WORRIED, DOUBTFUL AFRAID , DEPRESSED ALL AT ONCE I MEAN I COULD SEE A CUPLE AT TIME YEAH THATS LIFE ALL OF EM AT ONCE NEVER IN MY WILDESTS DREAMS SOMETIMES LIFE CAN SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU SO CAN PEOPLE THE THING THAT BOTHERS ME THE MOST IS I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT AT ALL I TRY TO PUT ON A BRAVE FACE WHEN I GO OUT IN THE WORLD BUT IM REALLY NOT BRAVE TRUTHFULY IM SCARED SHITLESS AND REALLY HAVE NO CLUE HOW TO DEAL WITH IT I GUESS I DO WHAT I VE BEEN DOING PRETEND ALL IS OKAY PRAY FEW KNOW THE REAL REASON AND HOPE IT WORKS OUT

THE REAL WORLD VS THE OC WORLD

I HAVE HAD A FEW JOBS IN MY DAY FROM TAKING CARE OF SPIECAL NEEDS KID TO BABY SITTING TO WORKING IN THE NOWLIN CENTER AT OC I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ONE TO BE APPRATIVE OF MY JOBS BECAUSE IT WAS MONEY THAT HELPED PAY BILLS OR FOOD OR WHATEVER I NEEDED BUT TODAY I FOR THE FIRST TIME I FIND SELF NOT EVER WANTING A JOB EVER AGAIN I HAVE ALWAYS TRIED TO COME ABOUT 30 MINS BEFORE I WAS SUPOSE TO BE THERE AND WORK THE FULL SHIFT AND STAY AFTER IF NEEDED WITHOUT EVER COMPLAINING AND MY FORMER BOSSES HAVE ALWAYS APPRATED IT AND THANKED ME FOR IT AND EVEN HELPING OUT AT REPUBLICAN HEADQUATERS IN SA SAMETHING VERY HAPPY TO SEE ME THERE WORKING HELPING OUT WELL FASTFORWARD TODAY AND ME WORKING THE NOWLIN CENTER AT OC WHICH LIKE A REC CENTER ANY WAY ALL SUMMER I HAD KEPT WITH SAME RETURN COMMING IN ABOUT 30 MINS EARLY AND I HAD DONE IT ALL SUMMER PUT ON MY HOURS FOR WORK HOWEVER I GET CALLED INTO MY BOSSES OFFICE ( LANA) AND SHE GOT REALLY MAD AT THE FACT I SHOWED 30 MINS EARLY NOT UPSET WITH GIRL WHO NEVER BOTHERS TO COME IN AT ALL OR GET SOMEONE TO COVER FOR HER BUT OHHH NO LETS GET MAD AT PERSON WHO COMES IN 30 MINS AND RARLEY ASKS FOR SOMEONE TO COVER FOR HER NEVER IN LIFE I HAVE I SEEN SUCH A THING AND TURLY THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN HERE AT THE OC TURLY UNREAL AND AFTER MY BOSS NEW WHAT SHE WAS GETTING AND NEW I WOULD COME IN SO I REALLY HAVE NO CLUE ON WHY NOW SHE GETS PISSED OFF FOR ME COMMING IN EARLY AFTER THIS IM NOT SURE I WANT TO GET A JOB FOR THE FALL LIKE I HAD PLANNED ALL SUMMER HOW IN THE WORLD DOES THIS MAKE SENSE SOMEONE PLEASE CLUE ME IN