what are you living for

The title of this post comes from a question my friend  Robert asked me and my other friend jennifer yesterday as we were driving around town from dinner to a movie and other stuff 

and it got me thinking really what do i live for? well i listened to jenn's answer being a promise to her best friends and saying there is a reason why God hasn't taken her yet  and so than its my turn and i sated that i have crazy notation that i want and am making a difference in this world but yet i dont want to know because i never want to feel as though my job is done on making a difference and also i said because i promised my kiki i would go to college  and graduate and so i and i want to see what else God has in-store for me  and i want to  prove people wrong  yes i live for that i mean i know this sounds petty honestly thats what i live for and in talking we asked robert and he like me wants to prove people wrong and its refreshing to know that your not the only one who wants prove people wrong for difference reasons but we also want to make people look at things differently and or in a new way and make them question their judgements. the reason that i do it cause its a passion and being one who has been judge wrongly many times and told i would never amount to anything  it means more to me for me to get people to never doubt  why a person is here on earth cause i truly believe everyone even convicts  are here for a reason  now i will never know why every person is here but i hope you start see all people this way 

i even believe there is a reason why my father is my father even though we dont talk but i still believe he has a purpose here on earth 

i hope i never stop proving people wrong and that i always make people question their judgements about others and  i hope i always strive  to make a difference 

and in the end 

i want to know 

what do you live for? 

peace through pain

on May 13,2005  I made one of the hardest decisions of my life  which was to stop seeing my father this was in no way an easy one i remeber crying over it  and praying about it and relizing it was for the best even though it didnt feel like it, i felt like a failure to my father because i could not meet his standards, to my family, to my friends but i also knew in my heart my grandparents were crying in seeing how i was treated and  not happy so i decided to to stop seeing him and see what happens   fast forward 3 years later and  i have done alot of growing since than  i have relized im a lot happier now than ever and im stronger and  honestly my relationships with my mom, brother, sister in law ( which was never really bad in the first place with her) and my mom finace and my friends espeally the guys  on my part. not only am i stronger and happier and relationships for the most part better im for the first time at peace with him and have hope of having a better life than i ever have in my life and with my Father in my life i would not be in this place of peace which is so nice and even though my feeling about God and church are effy at times  i now can grasp some concepts i never could before although i struggle to death with them 

its amazing what can happen in 3 years time :) 

now with my father am i saying ill never talk to him again probably 

does this mean i want bad things to happen to him no 

but i also know i can never trust him again and 

im perfectly happy and i know he is too 

yay for peace through pain 

7 things not known about margey

1. Im horrified and deathly scared of wasps  and bees 2. I never had cereal for breakfast in 25 years on this earth 3. I was never allowed to mow the yard going up but i always wanted to try it  4. I never read a gossip magaize such as people, or any others the only one i have had read womans world 5. I hate shopping for my self cause i know i should be spending the money on others  6. I have never in my life been called prett, beautiful, or any thing else by guy usueally im the person people make fun of insted  7. actually hate being around other people  i useually rather be alone or in small group of people who actually for whatever reason like for me  ( im useually not the popular person) or i am and but nobody really likes to be around me