wow its been an insane  tense   week at work and outside of it as well 

I wish my parents would own up to when their kids miss behave and not make excuses for it cause we will not put up with nor should we have to  i can officially say i have herd every single excuse in the book and it will not fly with us than i have had a lot of drama outside work and its weird how much i have had i feel like i haven't had a chance to breath and than one best friends also had a bad week so we were a force to be dealt with  but today has actually been fairly claim surprisingly and lately i have been doubted God  I know im heathen for it but i guess its in my nature right now i have always just known what the next step would be i may not have known how i was going to get there or when  but i just knew for example when i was little kid i always knew i didn't read or see words and letters and numbers the same as my classmates when i was in 2nd grade we found out i was dyslexic but i also knew there was something else and wasn't till i was a junior in high school  that we found out i was dysgraphic and i always knew i would go to college i didn't know when or where  and i applied to 9 colleges and got into 3 not bad and came and graduated form oc  but now for the first time in my life i dont know what comes next i know what i want to do and have a heart for but i dont know if its what God wants me to do and I have been feeling like may be he's not in control or doesnt have a plain I know this sounds stupid and  I know he does I just dont feel like he does cause I dont know what the next step and this a rather scary feeling for me  

and I dont know how to feel and or do its just weird to me 

but  I know im not the only one who feels like it 

food for thought

Okay so its been awhile since my last post ( not like too many people actually read this or care) but any way 

so recently a lot of people have been asking how is it that im not judgemental of people until i get to know them and see their true colors  or ask me why i dont put people down for the things they have done  and since this seems to be a reoccuring thing i figure i should blog on it ehh pluse its not like i have much else to blog about so here it goes 

there is an old saying  dont judge a book by its cover well thats how i view people because what we see on the outside useually isnt who they are and if it sometimes i like to get to know people because it opens my eyes to another point of view on life and in the real world and i love it 

and i also dont judge because im called not to  God is the only one allowed place judgement on humans  and ive always herd actions speak louder than words and yes to a degree i agree with but the heart and soul of a person are the loudest speakers of all and  when we choose to icnore that by judging others than we refusing to liston to our brothers an sisters and help them to see the world a different presptive  and  i also choose not judge becuase  people until i get to know them because im a firm believer thats a reason for everyone to be in ourlives be it a min or until we die and i love that my different friends and people i know bring a different prespative and challange me with what i know what i need to learn and how to grow stronger as person in this world  and as a christian 

as christians we should never be comfortabe in our faith so by having so many different people i get see God in so many different ways as well  

and so i can never be comfortable in my faith which is good 

now does this mean i agree with everything all the people i know and all the friends i have do 

no of course not! that be dumb 

but whats great is i can learn from them see things in a different way and try to look at things their way which is awsome 

so my challange to those of you who read  to not judge a person until you get to know them and i mean more than a passive of hi how are you 

i mean really know them