Sunday, September 20, 2009

my 2 roads

Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.
1. The Road Not Take
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel bothAnd be one traveler, long I stoodAnd looked down one as far as I couldTo where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair,And having perhaps the better claim,Because it was grassy and wanted wear;Though as for that the passing thereHad worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally layIn leaves no step had trodden black.Oh, I kept the first for another day!Yet knowing how way leads on to way,I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sighSomewhere ages and ages hence:Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I love the poem the Road less traveled by Robert Frost
because it defines my life literally it always has and as i sit here tonight typing this blog it defines yet again, i lost my job in Dallas back at the end of June and have been job hunting since march ( when i first knew) and when i was trying to find my way back to Oklahoma and i thought okay im starting early enough to get a job in a school as ta again well i sit in September still very much job less but living in state of okliehoma but i will say this journey has been a lot more difficult than i was ever ready for, i find my self doubting and questioning myself, my worth, weather or not God really has a plan for me and if he really is in control and what not i also found my move to be causing world war III in my family my bro/sis in law weren't happy about it b/c they lost control over me and because i was going to do it on my own well with help of my mom her fiancee and many amazing friends both in Texas andOklahoma and in n.c. with prayers help of moving and making connections on to where to apply for jobs and networking which is something that really wouldn't have hap pend in Dallas and one of the biggest things i get away from the "ohhh your robey's little sister" yes i got that even Dallas not that im not proud of him or happy to be his little sister but i wanted my own identity
for me i wanted to be known for me and what i do which only happens in OK, but also im alot happier here
im at home its my home and a majority of my friends are here and for once its one place i have always felt i belonged
so im writ ting this to update most of you that i moved back to Oklahoma on a leap of faith hoping God will provide and
knowing this where i belong and iii hope he has plan for me but since i have been back
i have done more in one month here than i did in a year in Dallas i dont know why i dont know if its because
im happier or my friends are here or if its just that i feel i have more opportunity here
than i did in Dallas now dont get me wrong Dallas is nice place and love to visit but the people
there are nuts but it wasnt for me and i wasnt happy and i felt further from God in my year there
than i ever did in sa and okc i dont know why
but im glad to be back
to my friends ive seen im so happy to those i haven't we will soon
and thank you to all of you who have helped me out
from listening to me cry/ get upset/ move/ pray or just been there for me
thank you for being my strength while i have been
but i Know God is good and im sooo blessed